Chapter Twenty Three
“Ladies and gentlemen, I want to be perfectly clear on one thing: there is no cure for HBRS-15.21 exposure. Once a single pseudo-cell has entered the bloodstream, nothing can be done.”
–Dr Ava Sherman. Geneva, Switzerland. 10 Days After.
* * *
Lo to the man who would be freed from his industrialized shackles.
Bristol was warm this time of year. Tall pines rose above a bronze bed of dead leaves. The morning sun tore through the pines in solid beams, glistening on a carpet of moss in a nearby meadow as if it were made of polished jade. This was far from the city, and safe from those ugly skyscrapers and disgusting odors.
“Temperature’s not going down,” a distant voice uttered.
“Where’s that water!?” another barked in answer.
“Heating it as fast as I can!” another said.
Liam wasn’t really in Bristol. He was lying on the ground, far away in both time and space, his head like a hurricane from the rising fever as a group of shadows swerved in and out of sight. The pain was getting worse, and he couldn’t keep his focus.
But was it really so bad to stay here? The wind was cool and soft in his hair, and he could taste the morning dew on his tongue. What was real mattered less than what he felt, and he wanted to go nowhere else.
Come on, Liam! his father shouted before strolling into view, with his camouflaged suit and double-barrel shotgun, leaned over one shoulder. Best we get moving. These pheasants won’t clean ‘emselves.
Can’t we stay a little longer? Liam asked. It’s so pretty!
His father sat down and placed his meaty hand on his head. Aye, m’boy. It most certainly is. But, we’ve exhausted our time here for today.
But why, da? Why can’t we stay here forever?
To that, his father pulled his pipe out and stared into the wilds. Because this place isn’t for us, Liam. This here is God’s country. We’re just visiting. You keep that in mind, and maybe one day you’ll get to experience it for y’self.
Liam nodded. He would make sure that day would come.
* * *
Lo to the man who would abandon solitude for love.
The Adirondacks were even more beautiful than he’d imagined. Unlike England, the foliage here had a certain vibrant tinge, and when fall hit, the trees became a mix of gold, copper, and crimson. An unrefined beauty that could not be ignored.
“Could try cutting the whole arm off,” a gruff voice decided.
“Are you fucking crazy?” another shouted. “He’ll bleed out.”
“He’ll go hollow if we do nothing.”
“Just get more boiled water and keep cleaning. There’s still a chance that it isn’t in his blood!”
If only Liam hadn’t been surrounded by all these people. Going to camp had only compounded the problem, as no one else appreciated being out here half as much as him. They only whined about poor cell reception and what movie they’d all watch once night hit.
A girl flopped next to Liam. You gonna spend all week by yourself?
He nearly dropped his sandwich from the shock. Huh?
Liam recognized her at once. She was the pretty blonde who always wore a tie-dye shirt and sunglasses, and if truth be told, he’d been avoiding her for fear she’d make fun of his accent. She certainly seemed to be the cool kid around here, and that’s what cool kids had a habit of doing. High school was such a sordid place.
Come on, she said. I’ve been coming to this camp every season for five years now, and I don’t think I’ve seen anyone try so hard to avoid making friends.
He frowned. Sorry. It’s nothing against you, it’s just that back home, it never got like this.
Mind if I sit next to you? she asked. Before he could answer, she’d already sprawled out her legs next to his.
For a moment, the two sat in awkward silence. Liam had never been great with girls. Him and his father had spent just about every break hunting when he was young, so he’d missed the chance of talking to them like all the other boys. And when his father passed away and mum moved him back to America, the situation had never improved. Now, here was one in the flesh, mere inches away. He could practically feel the heat resonating from her skin.
And yet, there was a certain calmness in this moment because instead of expecting anything from him, she was staring off into the same wilderness, with that same look of understanding as him.
It really is far out, huh? she said after a while. A whole wide world, untouched by us.
He nodded. Yes, it certainly is.
We should do this more often. I forget how lame it is to sit at the bench when we’ve got Mother Earth right here. She glanced his way. What’s your name, anyway?
Liam, he said, instinctively holding out his hand.
Hello, Liam. Her soft fingers wrapped around his and she pulled down her sunglasses. I’m Nelly.
* * *
Lo to the man who would abandon family for vanity.
It was so close, and yet so impossibly far. The mountains of Southern California would be capped in snow, their jade peaks peppered in white after last night’s squall. If only he could pierce through the veil of smog, he might at least be able to catch a glimpse of it for a change.
“We’re losing him!”
“Don’t you die on me, you piece of shit!” Gloved hands gripped his shoulders as a shadow drew close. “Open your fucking eyes and look at me, Liam.” His face was smacked. “Liam! Liam!”
Liam! Nelly shouted. Liam!
He snapped out of his daze. Sorry, I wasn’t listening.
She sighed. I know. You were looking for the mountains again.
Right, sorry. I was just thinking about how long it’s been since we last went on a hike. You know, you and me.
If only we could afford a sitter… She bobbed Lilith from one shoulder to the other. Do me a favor, and clean the floor. She’s spitting up again and I can’t do five things at once.
Of course, love! Liam rushed over and attended the spill. Lilith had knocked over her breakfast, and now the kitchen floor was coated in the mess. It would be a chore to clean, but no worse than normal.
Ugh, Nelly grunted. She’s crapped herself. Sorry, be right back!
She stormed off, and Lilith’s sobs dwindled.
As Liam meticulously wiped the baby food from one corner of the kitchen to the other, he thought of better days. If only there was a way to marry these two worlds again, as Nelly and him had once done before in Alaska. Of course they couldn’t just go back. Even Liam knew now that Lilith could never be raised there. Not properly, and not without the risk. And he did love her. He loved them both.
But maybe he could take a little break. Maybe he could earn some money along the way.
Liam scrounged through the trash. One of the executives had given him a business card at work, and said that he was just the face they needed for a new documentary series on wilderness survival. Liam had told him that he’d think about it before tossing the card out. The notion of spending weeks at a time away from his family was more than he could bear, even if it would get him back outside.
Liam held up the card. All it would take was one phone call, then he’d get a free paid vacation.
Just the pilot, he told himself. I’ll just do one episode and cash the bonus. In and out. No commitment, no problem.
Liam! Nelly shouted, and he rushed after her.
* * *
Lo to the man who would end his own life.
Had it really been worth it? Liam stared over the shores of Purgatory from atop one of its twin peaks. The sapphire waves rolled over beige shores in a quiet lull, and clouds drifted as though there was nothing wrong.
Sure, this land was as innocent and untarnished as everywhere else in the world, but could the same be said for him? Liam had been trapped on this island for years now, longer than he could count, and though the days were filled with adventure and beauty, it was but a pittance compared to that which he had so callously thrown away.
Fingers touched his neck. “I can’t feel a pulse!”
“Fuck, fuck!” a disembodied shadow cursed. “Raise his legs! Get more herbs! Do fucking something!”
Liam missed his wife. He missed his child. He missed his friends, and his neighbors, and his camera crew, and all the experts who used to prep him before a show. Hell, he would’ve swam in a river of lava just to get yelled at by another producer. His father had been right. This land wasn’t for them. It was for God alone, and like Icarus to the sun, Liam had allowed himself to get too close.
Now, he was burned.
“It’s too late to save him! The only option left is to drain as much blood as we can. We have to trust that Mother can still derive a cure from that alone!”
“And then what!? We don’t even have a cooler to store it. Anything we take will rot before we’re halfway there.” A gasp rolled out. “Shit! I don’t know what to do! I don’t know what to fucking do!”
Now, it was time to let it end.
He looked over the edge of the cliff. The drop was more than a hundred meters, and if the fall didn’t kill him outright, then he’d still be dead within the day. One step would be all it’d take, and then there would be no more pain.
Tears streamed down his cheek. It wasn’t fair! Liam had never wanted to abandon his family. He only wanted to enjoy the one constant that had been in his otherwise chaotic life. That’s all it had been for him. A nice break from the divorces and the deaths and the grief that came with living in civilization. Did he really deserve to feel such misery for wanting to find a nice hillside to sit down and be alone? Was modernity so cruel as to deny him such a small and innocuous pleasure?
Liam had not stepped over the edge the first time. He’d only stood in wait before deciding that he would give escape a try, with the promise that if his plan to build a raft failed, then he’d have no choice but to come back and finish what he had started.
But this time felt different. Liam knew what he’d be walking back into, with all the pain, and misery, and loss of it all, and that even if he climbed another insurmountable peak, the summit would be obscured, and the prize corrupted, and it would have all been for naught. Why struggle so hard to survive when the result was the same? Why not just let his life end in quiet resignation?
Liam stepped over the edge. Purgatory’s jungle opened into a giant pit, and he plunged into darkness. Corpses piled the walls. Grabbing for him. Clawing at him. Inviting him to become one of them. One of the dead, who knew nothing other than the emptiness that followed. Only hollowness remained, and he was all too willing to embrace it.
Liam Fenix closed his eyes and drifted into a sea of black.
“Fuck that,” the darkness beckoned, its voice raspy yet feminine. “Get your gear. We’re rolling out.”
It cursed. “I’m not done with you yet, asshole.”
